tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016505486794178553.post6882343304635221150..comments2023-11-03T09:37:18.738-04:00Comments on Deana Barnhart: Agent Pitch Finalist #8 - EverdreamDeanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016505486794178553.post-17326590849786149572012-09-28T10:13:25.000-04:002012-09-28T10:13:25.000-04:00Hello! Thanks for sharing your work with us. This ...Hello! Thanks for sharing your work with us. This project isn't quite up my alley, but it does evoke some Tamora Pierce-esque imagery in my mind, and that's great! I'd like to suggest a way you might make your query stronger. Your last paragraph has what feels to me like a lot of listing, from the different settings to the various things at stake. Try to avoid listing in your query if at all possible -- it can sometimes feel like you're throwing the kitchen sink at us, and we'd rather you make one strong connection than multiple vague ones. I hope that helps!<br /><br />My best,<br />MollyMolly Jaffahttp://www.foliolit.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016505486794178553.post-34390697606066217562012-09-25T20:36:49.464-04:002012-09-25T20:36:49.464-04:00multi-colored ghosts is such a terrific visual.multi-colored ghosts is such a terrific visual.Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.com