Saturday, March 12, 2011

3/12 Birthday Bash Contest Entry

Title: Angel Walker Series Book One: Remebered
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Status: WIP (3/4 finished)


          The only thing Jonas was completely sure of was that Mackenzie Shae was going to die.  As he studied her walking along – practically bouncing – in step to the loud music still playing in the field behind her, he couldn’t help but stare.  Not that Mackenzie intrigued him.  No human had that effect on Jonas.  They were way too predictable.  Sure, she probably attracted a majority of the male population, but she was the whole reason this mess consumed him in the first place.  That annoyance completely trumped how she looked.
            Of course the bond between them continued to aggravate him as well.  He didn’t have time to ponder over some typical teenagers innermost thoughts.  So what if she turned misfit because her sister died?  What difference did it make that the boy standing at her side, eyes caressing her face like they could actually feel her skin, loved her, and she didn’t return that love?  Least of all did he enjoy that this link—which acted more like a shackle at times—forced him into caring.
            What he needed to worry about now consisted of finding out when and how Mackenzie would leave this life, and why he was hers to begin with.  It didn’t seem to him like she had anything extraordinary going for her.
     As he waited for Mackenzie to approach, many possibilities swam through his head in answer to those questions.  However, given all the ways he’d seen death take someone, he never, in the many centuries of doing his job, could have guessed he would actually be the cause.
***
     Mackenzie was not usually the type to escape for fresh air in a portable bathroom, but extreme times called for extreme measures. Taking the ponytail holder from her wrist, she quickly wrapped her hair in a loose fitting ball on top of her head.  Having that small task accomplished

11 comments:

Juliana L. Brandt said...

Ohh, I'm intrigued! Awesome first 312. I really want to read more- Jonas has a voice that's drawn me into the story. I'd love to hear more from Mackenzie too!

Kate Larkindale said...

Great voice. You've really nailed Jonas, and I'm wanting to see more of Mackenzie too.

Just one little technical thing...

No human had that affect on Jonas... it should be 'effect' not 'affect'.

Deana said...

Thanks so much Kate and Juliana. It is nice to work so hard on a piece and get some good feedback and thanks for the effect heads up...missed that one:)

Tanya Reimer said...

This is really my type of book. I'm completely hooked. In fact, we need to get together and gab-- we think alike and should have some fantasies to share.

Great job on this. Killer stuff, really. (no pun intended, ok maybe just a little.)
You listed YA, this little clip sounds urban fantasy to me, is it YA urban fantasy? *sense my excitment- I'm an UF freak these days.*

Deana said...

Tanya, thanks so much for liking what you see so far! As for Urban Fantasy...I think it is. I have been torn between calling it an UF and Paranormal Romance. Hmm....
And as for chatting it up writer style, I would love it!

Time4Mommy said...

I would go with Urban Fantasy.

Gabriela Lessa said...

Wonderful entry, Deana! Good luck!

Gabriela Lessa said...

Congratulations! You are one of the 12 finalists! Your entry has been forwarded to guest judge Lora Rivera. The 3 winners will be announced on March 30th. Thanks for entering the contest and giving me the chance to read some great writing! Good luck!

Deana said...

WOO HOO!!!! Thanks so much for the opportuniy. I loved reading everyone's entries and of course love having my 312 being sent to Lora Rivera!! Thanks, thanks, thanks:)

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Juliana L. Brandt said...

Hey Deana, congrats on being a finalist! I just re-read your post and think you should post a short summary of your MS because I am completely ingrigued. haha :)