Monday, October 8, 2012

Small Press Finalist #6 - The Children of the Nephilim

THE CHILDREN OF THE NEPHILIM
YA Sci-Fi
63,000

Query:

Sixteen-year old Paxton Mills freaking hates living in space. The station is freezing cold, her berth is barely bigger than a port-a-potty and her fear of heights doesn’t lend itself to a comfortable intergalactic experience. She’s one of several hundred teenagers saved from the fires that ravaged Earth. Handpicked for their ability to acclimate to celestial living, they were taken to ensure humanity’s survival. But Paxton isn’t grateful to her rescuers for whisking her into space and educating her in hydroponics and uniform maintenance. How could she give a damn about hanging squash or maintaining a wrinkle-free jumper, when memories of her mom being left behind to die haunt her?

Her days of sulking end when she realizes her teachers aren’t humans, but aliens called the Nephilim. Knowing she needs proof, Paxton breaks into a forbidden ward and finds curled and crusty teens barely clinging to life. That's when she discovers she and the other kids were never taken to ensure humanity’s survival. They were taken to ensure the survival of the Nephilim.

Unwilling to end up resembling an oversized fetus, Paxton rallies her friends so together they can find an escape. As they unravel the mystery of the station and their captors, Paxton’s boyfriend is murdered. If Paxton wants to save her friends from this same fate, she must trust an annoyingly perfect hybrid named Kendal and accept that good and evil don’t always run skin deep.

First 150 Words:

My knees ached from pressing into the honeycomb design of the metal deck.  Leaning forward, I pushed my forehead against the tiny porthole waiting until the ashen rock that was once Earth rotated into view.

It had been two years since I touched a blade of grass — two years since fresh air entered my lungs. Yet the brilliant greens and blues of the bejeweled planet that was my home for fourteen years rarely entered my thoughts. More often, I was haunted by the last images blazed into my memory. Shadows. Flames.

The dim light from my old world finally appeared. Although my heart raced, the rest of me remained frozen until it vanished once again. I shut the shade and stood, my legs warming as the blood slowly returned to them. Even with the burned planet out of sight, the pounding in my chest continued, making it difficult to breathe.

3 comments:

Jessa Russo (Stadtler) said...

I LOVE your first 150 words and would love to read more.

The only thing that gave me pause is that technically speaking, Nephilim are the offspring of angels and humans, so when you said they were aliens I paused. BUT, I'm assuming that Paxton will discover this later on in the story?

Either way, I'm hooked by your first 150, so please send your query in the body of the email, and first three chapters attached in a Word document to jessa [at] curiosityquills [dot] com.

Krystal Wade said...

Absolutely love this premise and the first 150. Couple wordy sentences here and there, but overall really great.

abuckley23 said...

Great premise! I'm a big fan of the Nephilim concept, whether they're aliens or angels :) Best of luck!