Monday, September 24, 2012

Agent Pitch Finalist #15 - You Are Mine

YA Fantasy


In Chardonia, women are only a source of magic for their owners. Males wield all power. When seventeen-year-old Serena’s blood is found potent with magic, a husband is chosen for her. He is domineering and abusive, like every other warlock she’s ever known. Yet her hatred of him does nothing to stop their impending wedding.

But when Zade, a warlock from another country, kills her betrothed in a tournament, by law she becomes his possession. She expects Zade to be like other warlocks, yet he never beats or hexes her. Without the fear of constant punishments she surrenders to her inner desire to be more and more outspoken. Instead of disciplining her, Zade encourages her to make her own choices. As Serena’s realization that she’s just as important as any warlock grows, so does her love for Zade.

Except society’s laws haven’t changed, even if Zade isn’t going to punish her for breaking them. Her rebellion is drawing unwanted attention and could force her to become part of the slave-like class, people worth less than the shadows they cast. Worse, her arrogance could mark Zade as a warlock who can’t control his property and cost him his life. Now Serena must decide if she can trade her self-worth for freedom she's gained and the life of the man she loves.

First 150 Words:

My blood will entice warlocks to ask for my hand in marriage, so of course Father wants it spilled. The sooner he can have the magic within it measured, the sooner he can be rid of me. Despite knowing this my whole life, I'm still unprepared for the demand. I'm not ready to enter the marriage pool. However many warlocks desire my hand, he won't think them enough to make up for my being the eldest of fourteen girls instead of being a boy.

Is there any way to say that without a fist flying my way? Or a hex? Father hasn't blasted me with one of those in a few days. I hazard a glance at him.

The predawn rays aren't enough to brighten his face as he sits at his desk next to me, just enough to cast a faint glow. I'm not worth using an electric lamp for, nor a candle.


Linda Glaz said...

I think this will be a popular topic. Best wishes.

Hannah Bowman said...

I think the opening page here is strong. But I'm afraid the query didn't really capture my attention -- I wanted to see more chemistry between Serena and Zade. It's hard to deal with a complex topic like this in a query, but I think, especially for a YA title, Serena's voice needs to come through more clearly.

Best of luck!