Monday, September 24, 2012

Agent Pitch Finalist #7 - Rules of Rodentia

MG Fantasy
37,000 Words


It’s no mistake Tobin won Top Seed-finder for Junior Mice two seasons in a row. After all, he knows the Rules ofRodentia like the back of his paw.  So when an explosive thunderstorm damages the Great Burrow and exposes his friends and family, Tobin’s routine forest life crumbles like last autumn's leaves. As if the destruction wasn't bad enough, his home has also been invaded.

Tobin watches in horror as a giant spider scuttles into the woods with a newborn pinkling in tow— his very own baby brother. He turns to his best friend Wiley and little sister Talia. They agree if the pinkling’s to have any chance of survival, they must follow the spider, even though the Rules clearly state to run away from predators, not chase them.

Tobin ventures into a world of dangerous terrain and crafty creatures, discovering he’s hardly the only animal with agrudge against this nasty breed of spider. He finds himself in a race to save his newborn brother before a battle for woodland supremacy befalls the spider stronghold. But once Tobin sees the horrors lurking inside the spider lair, saving one pinkling will only be the beginning. Sometimes a mouse just has to break the Rules.
First 150 Words:

Crouched in perfect stillness beneath a toadstool, Tobin recalled his training. He knew the Rules like the back of his paw. It was no accident he was top Seed-finder for Junior Mice two seasons in a row.  Traveling this familiar patch of forest was simple as scratching a flea.

Tobin concentrated on the final leg of his journey home. The Great Burrow loomed just ahead. Shaped like a giant tortoise shell, the burrow possessed dozens of hidden entrances. It was very important to use different paths and different entrances back inside.

Rule #7- A predictable path provides easy pickings for a predator.

Tobin spied a route he hadn’t taken in a while.

Next, his mind ticked through the age-old checklist taught to all young mice, the second-most important rule in all of Rodentia:

Rule #2- Always survey your surroundings before setting a paw in the open.

Scan for hawks.

Done. Clear skies.


Linda Glaz said...

Clever idea.

Molly Jaffa said...

Hi! I like your writing, and from what I can tell, your world sounds fully-realized. Unfortunately, this is just an instance where the concept isn't for me. I'm not a fan of anthropomorphized animals, but as you know, there are quite a few books with animal protagonists that sell really, really well! This is a subjective business, and I'm positive you'll find a great agent for this project.

My best,