Monday, September 17, 2012

Rd 1 Agent Pitch Contest #3 - EXTRA SPECIAL X

Extra Special X
Picture Book
650 Words

Query:

On the verge of being lost forever in a dark, dusty world under the refrigerator, the letter X calls for help.  Holding on to each other, C-H-A-I and N band together to rescue X.  While X questions her value as part of the alphabet, A kicks off a letter scramble including her in words that wouldn’t exist without the letter X. Through friendship, X learns the value of being part of a word, even if she is not the first letter.

First 150 words:

Jack stood at the refrigerator playing with his magnetic letters. He arranged, piled, moved, pushed and pulled them to make some of his favorite words:
CAT, TOP, BAT, STOP
The letters he didn’t use so much like U, Q, G, Y, X, and W were scattered off to the side.
Molly walked up to Jack.
“Let’s go outside,” his sister suggested.
“Last one out goes to bed first!” Jack replied, and started running.
The letters stayed on the refrigerator just where they had been. Well, most of them.
U, Q and X started slipping, sliding, and falling.  Farther down the refrigerator they went.
“Can someone help me down here?” called a small voice. “There’s a loud humming sound and I’m alone. It’s dusty, dirty, and getting dark. I don’t think I can hold on much longer.”
It was X. She was about to fall right off the refrigerator.

7 comments:

SugarMagnolia said...

Thanks for participating! My plan is to read through all the entries and then begin my comments and critiques. I will give out my top ten my votes when I'm finished.

Best of luck to you, and stay tuned!

Wendy said...

This is a really cute idea! Our refrigerator had those same sliding letters.
The excerpt is short, so it's hard to be sure, but I wonder if you need to start with the kids? IF the story is about the letters, you might want to start right in with that. I wanted to connect to X's plight but most of what I read was about two kids who go outside. I enjoyed the alliteration and can envision cute illustrations to go with this. Good luck!

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

Thank you SugarMagnolia for visiting!
Wendy- you raise an excellent point and although Jack and Molly are meant to only give a setting kids can relate to, I'm sure I can trim or consolidate some of their early activity. Thanks for the feedback!

The Rooster said...

This is SO cute. My little guy would love this. He loves learning about his letters with stuff like that. And the query really is well done. I like that the kids start out the story. It does give the reader the connection to the kids. And I feel for poor letter X. Good Luck!

YOU HAVE MY VOTE!

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

Thank you for the vote!

SugarMagnolia said...

(Hi again! I plan to give out comments during this round, and then I'll give out my top ten votes as soon as I have critiqued everyone's queries.)

Really cute. I love the idea that a letter may get its feelings hurt for being left out. Very well done!

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

Thank you SugarMagnolia!