The Artsy-Fartsy Spider
Picture Book
435
Query:
Spencer is an artsy-fartsy spider who spins...a potter's wheel. But because he is teased by the other spiders, Spencer is determined to prove that he can be a creepy crawling, web-spinning, fly-catching spider like everyone else. He follows a How-To book on spinning webs. But after failing to spin a spider-worthy web, Spencer decides to release his frustration as his artsy-fartsy self. As a result, he spins the most intricate web designs anyone has ever seen and ends up attracting more than just the approval of his peers. The Itsy-Bitsy Spider meets Michelangelo in THE ARTSY-FARTSY SPIDER.
First 150 Words (not including illo notes):
Spencer was not your typical spider.
Spiders crawl. Spencer cartwheeled.
Spiders are creepy. Spencer was cuddly.
Spiders spin webs. Spencer spun...
...a potter's wheel.
"He’s an artsy-fartsy spider!” teased the other spiders. “How are you supposed to catch a fly with that?"
Spencer stared hopelessly at his art pieces.
“Bet you can’t even spin a web.”
“Can too!” said Spencer. He wanted to prove that he could be a normal web-spinning, creepy crawling, fly-catching spider, like everyone else.
Spencer dusted off his textbook, SPIDER SENSE, and turned to Chapter One. [Illo: Page reads: Chapter 1―Silk Spinning Skills. Eight steps to spinning a web.]
“This makes sense, ” said Spencer.
He spun, spiraled, and wove.
“Tada! ” said Spencer. [Illo: An unusual web with large circles built into the pattern.]
“What's that? ” The other spiders snickered.
“A web, of course.” Spencer admired his creation.
“Does it work? ”
Spencer hung around and waited. A juicy mosquito danced around.
It whizzed right through Spencer's web.
“Spencer can’t catch a single fly!” The spiders laughed.
Monday, September 17, 2012
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8 comments:
Thanks for participating! My plan is to read through all the entries and then begin my comments and critiques. I will give out my top ten my votes when I'm finished.
Best of luck to you, and stay tuned!
I really love this story. The thought of a spider spinning pottery rather than a web makes me chuckle.
(Hi again! I plan to give out comments during this round, and then I'll give out my top ten votes as soon as I have critiqued everyone's queries.)
This is so cute! I love this story already. Very nicely done!
All done reading! I just can't get this beautiful story out of my head, so...
YOU HAVE MY VOTE!
What a strong query! It's so tight, concise, and shows great voice! Oh, and your title ROCKS! Seriously, you can never go wrong putting a bodily function in your title ;o)
I loved the simplicity, yet cleverness, of your opening words!
I loved the whole package!
YOU HAVE MY VOTE!
YOU HAVE MY VOTE!
You were on my LOVE list. So glad you made it through. GOOD LUCK!!
Thank you very much for your nice comments and votes. You've made my day! I worked so hard on this so it is validating for me. Thank you for taking the time to review all the entries of round 1.
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